Roadman, it's the final part in our How to Be a Cyclist series
Roadman, it's the final part in our How to Be a Cyclist series. Let's cue that intro! The big question is this. How do we use cycling as a tool to improve our health, our happiness and our long-chevages? That is the question on this podcast will give you the answers. My name is Anthony Walsh and welcome to the Roadman Podcast. Roleman, welcome back to another Roleman Cycling Podcast. It's amazing from time to time you stumble across a topic and it really just resonates with a lot of people and the voluminates set of rules. It's a set of rules that I actually taught that everybody knew about because it's something we were talked about years ago but it's actually fallen away from popular conversation, parlance to use a wankery word recently and it's nice to bring it back and it's nice to give it a fresh little twist and I've been getting pictures and reminders from friends about Greg Lamont, the brilliant ex- professional cyclist who won the Tour de France in 1986. In 1989, if my memory's right, that's off top of my head with the famous Finion Lamont's Time Trial, he wrote the preface to the Voluminati rule book, which is amazing. It just gives another degree of authenticity to these rules, which are gas. They're meant to be taken a bit tongue-in-cheek. But if you're a newbie, there's a nice little way to indoctrinate you into where a weird little cult. Before I jump in, I tell you to remain the rules in this final part or a tree part special on the Voluminati rules. Let me remind you about Patreon. Patreon's how I fund this podcast, guys, and if you're a regular listener, you're sick of me rabbit-knawing about it every day, but the reason is it matters so much, it matters to the life of the podcast. So many of those big companies out there that do this monthly recurring revenue, it doesn't really matter to them. Like if they lose a customer or two here and there, there's no built milk, but for small independent creators like me and small businesses, one person coming in really matters and it puts a smile on your face and one person deciding not the council and keep their patreon going. It puts a smile on your face so thank you very much for everyone who subscribed so far and if you'd like to buy me a point the price of a point of beer once a month to say thanks for the podcast if you're getting some value from it I'd encourage you to please do that you can do it over on patreon.com forward slash Anthony underscore waltz the link is in the boil okay here we go some more of them as always I'm going to give you the rule the explanation of the rule and then I'll give you more commentary on it never ride without your eyewear.
Rule number 35, you should not make a habit of riding without eyewear
Rule number 35, you should not make a habit of riding without eyewear. Although approved, extenuating circumstances include fog, overheating and lighting conditions. When not worn over the eyes, they should be neatly tucked into the vents of your helmet. If they don't fit, buy a new helmet. In the meantime, you can wear them backwards on the back of your head or carefully tuck them into your jersey pocket, make sure not to scratch them with your tools. I'm going to give a little amendment to this one. Don't put them into the back of your your jersey pocket, that's completely thread to do. You can put them in the vent to your helmet, if you're not wearing a helmet, you can wear them on the top of your coffin cap, which is also cool on a recovery day. Or you can wear them backwards on your head around your ears. If you haven't got somewhere to put them, don't put them into your pocket. They're going to get scratched and they're going to get wrecked. That rule needs to be updated. So while I agree with the basic premise of rule number 35, never really, without your right wear, it needed a couple of little amendments on the rule number 45 because this one is just a static mastery. Rule number 45, slam your stem. This means no stupid stack height. Triathletes love this big spacer stack underneath and also the people who are just beyond miserable love it. And if you're one of these guys that got a new bike and you're thinking, oh but you never know, I might sell it in five years time and I'm going to reduce the resale value so I'm keeping this stupid long spacer set of stacks. Could I chop it? The rule says, As a maximum stack height of 2 cm is allowed below the stem and a single 5mm spacer must always always be stacked above. A slamming down stack height is preferable meaning the stem is positioned directly on top of the headset. Look this looks better repeaters, it handles better, you look cooler, you're going to be more attractive to the opposite sex, slam your stem. Nothing else needs to be said. Rule number 53, keep your kit clean and new. As a court seat that goes around you, your kit should always be freshly laundered, and a no-circumstances should the crackle region of your shorts be worn out or seat-trill. Crackle must be an American term. I think we call it the bollocks here in Ireland, but under no circumstances should the bollocks be worn out of your shorts? I think that's just brilliant, because I've been out on one or two rides with people and they think they're being trippy or they think they have inverted commas, winter set kit. Really, they just have a chamois which is so worn, it's transparent.
Sweat, water, any sort of moisture, it just makes it completely…
Sweat, water, any sort of moisture, it just makes it completely translucent. And no one needs that. I've said it many times on this, a clean bike is a fast bike, clean kit is fast kit. You wanna look cool, you wanna feel cool. Make sure you're going out the door every time with that kit, brand spanking new. Think about the pros, they ever catch them in a picture where their kit isn't just on point. It's a part of being a boy grider, it's a part of the apprenticeship. Rule number 56, espresso or macchiato only. When wearing cycling kit and enjoying a pre or post-relied coffee, it is only appropriate to drink espresso or macchiato. If the word soy skim latte is here to be used by a member wearing cycling apparel, then that person must be ceremonially beaten with CO2 canisters and mini pumps by all others within the community. So ditch the skinny vanilla frappuccino from Starbox and my addition to this, addendum to this rule number 56 is the espresso or macchiato must only be bought from independent coffee houses. None of your starbucks, you're insomnia's, none of these shitty franchise chains, cool independent coffee shops. If you want to start piecing the rules together folks, this is where you start having the crack so you can have your little cycling cap out of your pocket, stick it on your head with your shades on the top, head into your independent coffee house to get yourself your espresso and that's how you know you're really starting to be a cool cyclist. Well man, I've really enjoyed going through these Voluminaati rules. If you just google them, Voluminaati, you'll find the full set of rules there, they're absolutely gassed, you'll break your heart at Sumeram. Until tomorrow, thanks for listening, roadman, jat jiaden. Hey everybody, it's Anthony again. Really quick, I want to invite you to join arguably the best thing I've ever put out inside the roadman community. It's a challenge. It's a challenge called a 14 day kickstart challenge. So regardless of where your fitness is at right now, this is going to be the catalyst for making you faster and making you the leaner. I've created this challenge to take the guesswork out of everything. It's 14 days of training plans regardless of what your level is. There's the master's beginner advanced. There's meal plans shopping list and even a video course holding your hand and talking you true at all. So what I recommend you do right now is just stop everything, press pause on this audio and go to roadmansoidcling.com forward slash 14 day or check out the link in the bio. That's roadmancycling.com slash 14 day.