I know we talked of Air and there's a bunch world tour guys, world tour, you know, psychologists and alter arts crazy angles on this summit. But when I started thinking about who can I chat about mental toughness and mental resolve, I was like, I need to try and get Jair on. I need Jair on the summit because of everyone I know, I think you have this. And I don't know if it's something that people can learn. I don't know off to strategy that you have. But maybe for anyone that didn't listen to our podcasts, give us sort of the 60 seconds or the abbreviated version of your backstory. Yeah, so grew up in Dublin in a deprived area. The age of 10, they witnessed the mortar forced, which had a big impact on my life. I was used to seeing Rob Cai's drugs, all the time, and that was the norm of where I came from. The house was, you know, I was trouble in the house, fight, drink, you know, it was open the air. But I found saw this through soccer at the age of 16, 15, a scout came to watch me, and scored 10 goals in one game, went over to Scotland, sawing the weight, yes. Was playing over there with the problems, living the life, living the dream. Came home to my father, committed to crying, came home to look after my brother's sisters. Up in the game home to see it was everything OK. I stuck at home because, you know, I had no choice really to order than to stay at home, look after them. Went and joined the criminal group, gang for protection at the Puffieldnet table. Went down the wrong route for about 16 years, contemplated suicide, was on drool, directly anxious, no self-belief, no self-doubt, conferences was gone, didn't trust adults whatsoever. Ended in prison in 2014. So if two years remember sitting in prison in a cell saying, where's my life gone? Why, it was just flashing front of me. I was that close to becoming a professor and soccer player. And here I am in a prison cell. What the fuck has happened? I'm released in prison. My son Ross was doing October 2016. And I chose, I said, but this kid comes out. There's a son. I was gonna be his hero. So I didn't know what I was going to do, but I knew it was given up everything I was dealing with. I was going to become these kids here. Took up Triathlon in 2017, January 2007, and never couldn't swim, couldn't even do one that uphill. Never had a TT boy, a raw boy, mountain boy, and there were a lot of buns. And you know, but I just wanted to, I just needed a new direction. So six months later, I don't know where my matrix, and I remember when I done it, Someone said to me, did you suffer in the marathon part of it? Because I was in the Jordan's body, I shot so far. I was like, I didn't suffer. And I've done a two out six marathon, which is readily good for an Ironman. It's three or six. Three or six marathon. Yeah, I was like, two out six, as fast after the bike. And then I wanted to test my mind. So I went and done Lance Wright, which is one of the toughest in the world. And again, I went and looked over the soften and done a really good time there. Then that little kid came back to me and said, maybe you could be pro again. I looked up the time, the time to get was like a so annoying tour deorama. My best was like 10.50 at this stage. I think I had seven months to do it, so I picked Barcelona. Anyway, I trained so hard. Like I was training every day of the week, four hours a day, doing four hour breaks, I trained them on and testing myself, coming in, coming from these shins, coming from these legs. But I just wanted to make sure that I didn't need any style on tour. And I wanted to prove to everyone that I could do it because any people who are told that it's gonna come up pro, wouldn't even engage in conversation with me, believe it or not. Don't blame the book. They didn't know who was or where it came from or what I lost and what me boy was. I landed in Barcelona in 2017, 22 months after I took up the spark of triathlon. And I became a noise professor at triathletes. I've goosebumps listening to the story and it's not the first time I've heard it's all and I only imagine when people are listening.
And that was the birth of your brand now and what's become sort of a movement that I suppose an inspiration isn't too strong or for kids who are going out on the wrong road and this prison is the problem movement you have right now. Yeah, so I'm going into skills. I think that gave me a platform. To be honest with you, a lot of my boy was to become a professor, was to give talks, to have that platform and be a beacon of light to kids, be a beacon of light for people who are who take the light to solve it when it's not. I was starting my time when he looked at me and said, oh, we're sitting in that prison cell and they taught me the way to go. I thought, that's it, I'm done. And I really didn't think that. But it was all about that little thing in the head, you know, that it was a problem. It was great at one stage. Maybe you can do it again. So my way was to come across that finish line, get that time, so we could go in the prison skills and you'll try to say, just can do it. I've done it at 24. You know, life's not over. And don't be making the skills away you come from, because ultimately it's what you put in, what you go out. And it's all hard work. So how much are I played football, and I know hundreds of thousands of kids around Ireland play football, but very few of us get to the level, you got it. Like you lived every kid's dream, but it takes something special to differentiate you from all those kids. How much of that win and mindset that took you to a professional contract in football, did you then apply into your life as a gangster, And then did that same mindset, did that apply again into triathlon? Is it the same sort of power that you're channeling just in different directions? Yeah, so I seem to have this power, if you like, that when I take up something, I want to be the best at it. I leave no stone on torn, but I'll go to every depth, I'll knock on every door, I'll find out what other problems I do, what's he doing, what's he doing, you know, I'll find out what works and what doesn't work. and I'll take the advice of people who are better than me. And they don't go after them to be better than them, they go after them to get their information and try and be the best they can be. But there's always a way, a quicker way. And the way to do that is to go to the person who's done over five years and try to adapt all his faults and not make them faults, not make them mistakes that he's made and try and land where he is newly. I looked at you. This is quote, it's like, learn from failures but they don't have to be your failures. Yeah, and that's being clever. It's being clever about, you know, and once you listen, once you can adapt that sort of mindset, you'll get there a lot quicker than others will, you know, rather than listen to yourself, listen to others. You put that stellar football focus, you put that into crime for a long time. Somebody else that's listening to this, might have challenged their focus after school into, you know, their business. Do you think it's the focus that brought you very far in crime? Do you think it's that same focus? I'm trying to get as if someone is watching this and they're a super-achiever in their business or they're a super-achiever in their job. Do you think they can switch that what hooked them to that level of accomplishment in their job and refocus that, just repoint that energy at something like sport? Absolutely. So when I go into prisons, there's people in prisons that are very intelligent. They do banks and do rob banks and do rob this and that if they only vent and then charge again Really? So it's now it's totally different end of the rick the scale But it's similar stuff. They have to set things up. They have to have meetings. They have to have certain Soldiers do this so I'll do that so even in the job you have operators doing this job You have gen two before you just doing this. It's similar It's not similar in that it's new to pure as form of entrepreneurship though Yeah, but they have so much intelligence and they're so good at what they do that if they transformed that mindset into a positive Business they would be the same they would they would have the same effect Joe the business will become really good, but it's obviously less There's less a chance of being and getting into with the large You know I mean and how hard is the flick that switch from wanting to build or so from football to crime from crime to triathlon?
Is a difficult transition to make. Because I know that's where people end up feeling like they're stuck in a rush, whether it's on task A, task B, how do you switch it on to task C? Right, so like I ran from soccer, now choice but to take up the new oyster of going down the wrong route with the protection from my family and then fulfilled the table. So I felt like I had to create new environment for the new circumstances that I found myself in. And so it wasn't that hard to be honest with you. And then he just all become an adaptor. And like I said, they have that ability to just overcome and adapt any situation and put in. So you just look around and see what's going to use here for this situation? What goals are we to set to get through this situation? How do we come back? Where do we want to go? It's setting goals regardless of where you are. You mentioned that big boy at the start. And obviously when you move from football into crime, the big boy was protection, looking after the family. When you moved into triathlon, the big boy was you wanted to be a hero for your kid. bulk dolls are serious big boys that you've poured out there. Do you think that's a contributor to the success you've had? Yeah, it's a drive and factor. It's an external goal. But also it's an internal goal. A lot of people have external goals, which is a race. I only had external goals, close internal goals, for getting into a criminal gang. So my external goal was to make sure my family was with anything not to happen to them. So So we got them safe, true life. And then the internal goal was just like, just to, you know, try and get true life without doing it. At that stage, you know, which is a very big internal goal to be honest with you. So let's just live a day by day, like hoping that no one comes and takes me out. Yeah, it's a stressful, stressful way to live. And I know we've talked about this before and it's like the hero has to journey. So the hero and your external journey and your latest journey is you want to become a pro-traathlete at that time. But the more interesting journey is the transformative one that happens for you. It's who do you become in the process of trying to, how does Jared transition from seeing himself as a criminal to seeing himself as a pro-athlete? And I think that's the journey that becomes super fascinating for most, was to watch you changing day by day. Yeah, it wasn't easy, when I went from being in a criminal guy to that transformation to become the true athlete. And what you have to do is you have to be clever and street sense. You have to use your street sense and be very clever about it because you don't wanna hit on you enough because what comes with that is paranoia. And when you're in that game, you are paranoid. So if you get that warm beer paranoia, fixate it on same yourself, for instance, pulling out. What is he pulling out? What's the reason for him pulling out? Is he rotten? Is he up to no good? To get all these questions coming into our heads And if they sit down and talk and one of them has a, don't look here or something, you know, you could set yourself up for a bit of taking it out. So there's a clever way of dealing a lot of steady with them. They'll say they wanted to get builds paid and then meet someone's due. And I'm gonna try and for this, oh man. Although it was planned on coming back, but it wasn't. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. And then before long, you don't become a NASA anymore because you're not doing anything for them. Some of that comes in feels your void. They take over. And then before, then you're not no longer and ask that they no longer a problem, you know, and you're still sort of friendly with them and then it's easier to peel away. How important is self-identity? You see yourself as a soccer player, you see yourself as a criminal or you see yourself as a professional triathlete. And how important does that identity shape your actions and your decisions every day then? Like, I know my life might look like, you know, I had a bit of a bad stick, the end, bad end of the stick, but I've actually learned a lot from it and I've got a lot of experience from it and what I've talked from it, although it was negative, is now a positive in my life.
It's who I am now and I have a lot of experience that can help people with. I mean, they're going to give talks, I can really give talks, right? And they can hit on so many different points that so many people get me. not just one dimensional. I can talk about anything. Shit, everything. But, you know what I've got? I love in a race. I always have my mental reference point. So if I talk about someone's like, it's cold today. I've got mental reference point. I actually had a lot on the sumus. I'll share all the interviews with you after I get them all done. I've read one last, I used to be a teammate with them in Toronto. And two of us were talking about this race where we raced in the snow. Like, I can't remember, it's minus four, minus five. It was horrible. Everyone was wrapped up in raincoats. I know he had the bright idea to come down to the start in shorts and a jersey with no gloves just to crack lads. And I was 10k into the race. The lads were looking at me, what was wrong with him? It's not even cold, he's our soft. But I got so badly hoipeteric. I think I got four to fifth that day. And basically six or seven months finished out at 200. It was horrific. Your bottles were frozen into your cage. You couldn't use your brakes or gears. The handlebars were really frozen was hard to go around corners. But I like the term so bad that I was coming across the line, chatter and teeth, face off rows, but any time I'm in a race now or out training and it's cold, I use that as my reference point and go it's cold, but it's not like a Bay is cold. Do you do the same thing where you're like, this is hard, but fuck me, it's not as hard as that force noise I had in jail or it's not as hard as whatever other experience insert there. Yeah, so like my mind doesn't even go into that anymore. I don't even get that heart anymore. We're even engaging. So when I go out and it's cold, like that's hard, but you're saying, you're referencing something off. Doesn't even happen anymore. Like I don't get that heart anymore, you know what I mean? But you'd reference something, we don't need the reference, I don't. It's just, it's happening. That's it. I'm already on it. Don't even think about it. Don't even think, but remember this time, I remember that time, just like, what the fuck, let's go. It's just a life. It's just a life. I'm gone, finally. I already made me mind up when I got my gear ready the night before. So that's it. I'm already on it. I think there's a great piece there, I think for any, especially kids watching it because there's a big separation in any walk of life between someone who's a serious athlete, and someone who wants to front and pretend like they're a serious athlete. They have the trimmons of a serious athlete. They have the bikes, they have the kit. And there's very few people can tell the difference between the two. I'm sure it was the exact time in your life. I'm sure there was, you know, guys who were, to me, would all look like gangsters. But there was probably guys who were actually gangsters and guys who wanted a front like their gangsters. Yeah. Oh yeah, you get them everywhere. Like people thought shit, you know, but everyone wants to be a gangster until it's time to be a gangster. It's the greatest quote ever. And it's the same even for trying. Everyone wants to be an Ironman till it's time to try and for an Ironman or to be whatever the pinnacle will be of your sport. Every month, the beta, but when you actually put it into perspective and go, this way you have to do the beta. They show you away and they make excuses. And that's what happens the most, you know? So that's how they'll do. If you were given advice to someone getting into this sport, maybe it's, you know, young Jair coming into triathlon for the first time. What lessons have you learned now? Or maybe even back to you when you were a soccer player, what lessons have you learned to all the life experience that you'd say, fuck, I wish I had a know on that at the very start. That would have saved me a lot of hardship. Just like always look, always look to get information from experienced people and taken on boards.
You know, really taken on board because it's one thing someone telling you to do something right and then you're doing the half first, trying to nail what they're actually telling you. So we used to get information on people and you'd be half first and not understanding it. Make sure you understand what they're telling you and make sure that you execute and if you don't understand, go back to them. Say, did I do that right? So always make sure you're doing it right. And get uncomfortable. Like never miss a session. Doesn't matter. The gun coaching people now on the Christmas week are going to do, so say once a week I told them, I'm telling them I'll do two the week before and not taking the day off. You can take the week off of Christmas but we'll do two the week before. So we're actually not missing a session. So there's no excuse, like, if you want something bad enough and you're gonna use these skills as Christmas, or weather, or something silly like that. I mean, yeah, it's just not big enough for you then. Do you love it that much, like? Yeah. I love that expression, get uncomfortable. Cause that's something I'm always talking about. Nothing good that's ever common in my life has come true comfort. It's always a period of complete discomfort. And that's why I am where I am there with the mindset. Cause I've been so uncomfortable after my life. And now, like, I've no problem doing any sessions. If someone says to me, we do this, we do that, I'm all over it. And the people who have not been put through stuff like I have been, the only way they're ever gonna get that mindset is by getting really uncomfortable. So right there, I'm gonna get you a cold build on a piece of paper and start nailing them and your stack realm as a person and as a matter of fact. I think that's a great place to leave. Jerry, if anyone wants to follow your journey, if they wanna get tri-coaching, if they wanna just follow you for advice and inspiration, What's the best place to sort of the deal, right? So, on Instagram, Jrem.Jrem.com. Four? Yeah, we don't even know what I'm... Oh, I linked it up down below. Yeah, and Jrem.com is your website. Awesome, Jrem, that was brilliant. Thanks very much for chatting again. Jrem. Before you go anywhere, our first ever romance summit had aired back in December. I brought together 30 experts and they shared with me their secrets on how to biohack your physiology, how to melt away body fat and smash your cycling goals, whatever that was. Since airing that back in December, I've just been in on days with my Instagram DM's Twitter direct messages with requests to get access to this material. I had it locked up in the vault, but I've decided to open access to this material for you, the podcast listeners at the Roadman Podcast. So to get access to this, it's a one-point payment of €47 and you're going to have all the interviews, all those secrets forever. You're going to have the videos and the MP-Trees. In there I've got interviews with world-tore mechanics, nutritionists, sports psychologists, bike-fit experts and some of the legends at a sport like Tyler Hamilton and Pete Sten. Over 30 hours of content in this members area that I've created for you guys. So if you want to get access to that way to do it, it's to head on over to this URL www.roadmansomit.com forward slash 2021. I'll give you that again. It's www.roadmansomit.com forward slash 2021. That's numerical. The link to that is in the bio. Get it, check it out, learn it, take it in, because this is short to set you on the right past for 2021.